It's A Long Way Out
by Sev-chan
Summary: People tend to find themselves in the strangest of ways,and although pain sometimes overwhelms others. For one person you could mean the most, and that in itself is a wish come true. Meet the Devil in the Wishing Well, he is who you are, yourself.
1. Rebirth

Disclaimer: Don't own, Don't flame, Don't sue.

Warning: My usual, yaoi, shounen-ai whatever!

Summery: Where all the eyes can see is an endless field of yellow and the homes seem as old as time itself resides a wishing well. Trowa a natural skeptic, Heero an honest country boy, and Duo an innocent boy since his day of birth all place their wishes in the hands of fate or rather a Well. People tend to find themselves in the strangest of ways,and although pain sometimes overwhelms others. For one person you could mean the most, and that in itself is a wish come true. Meet the Devil in the Wishing Well, he is who you are, yourself.

It's A Long Way Out

**Chapter 1**

**Rebirth**

_As I cross the grave stones along this crimson path alone, feeling the emptiness inside, this heart use to be so warm, no longer feeling the pain that use to dwell in me, I think I've finally learned to see._

**I **met him at my aunt's house I was fourteen at the time. My cousin Heero and I had been out walking in the dry grass of the abandoned farm about three miles from his home. He talked about a family, how a mom and dad murdered their children and how they buried the remains and that the police had searched and found nothing. He said the parents of the missing children had moved away to a mansion far away where the sun always shined. I hadn't believed him then not until I had met Duo.

XXX

**I**t was the summer before my high school year and my mother told me she wanted me to spend time in an atmosphere less pressuring than that of the city. Recently I had gotten caught drinking and smoking with some of my friends in the sad excuse for a back yard we have, hence less pressure. So that's how I found my self at my aunt and uncles home with my cousin Heero as my one and only new "best friend".

"Bullshit Heero!" he turned around from his position on the top of the roof.

"I swear on my life that's what happened."

"If that were the case then how come they weren't arrested?" I picked up a rock and threw it at the window causing it to shatter.

"Don't do that we'll get in trouble! And like I said they had no way to pin it to them." yelled Heero as he jumped down from the two-story house and I wondered for a brief moment if it was as easy as Heero made it look or painless for that matter.

"Then how in Gods name does everyone know they did it huh?" as we started to walk back to his house I pulled at the tall dry straw that lined the dirt road.

"It's the most obvious answer, who else would get all the money, right?"

"For some reason I really doubt your logic cuz."

"You only doubt it because you're a very skeptical person."

"That's a mighty big word for a farm boy." I said dragging my feet on the road.

"Trowa, I know you're my cousin and all, but if you _ever_ call me farm boy again I'll seriously have to kick your ass."

"_God_ what do you people do here for _fun?_ I think the only thing that's going to _save _me from boredom is the fact that you guys got _satellite_." we made it to the paved road and walked right in the middle of it.

"Actually my mom told me that Aunt Liss doesn't want you watching TV while you're here; something about sun being good for juvenile adolescents." said Heero waving his hand as if brushing it off.

"Juvenile adolescent! I told her my friends cohered me into doing it."

"Cohered is a big word for a _juvenile_ and are you even using it right?" we cut threw the overgrown hedge Heero said was a short cut, which also meant we only had fifteen minutes left till we got to his home. I suddenly dreaded going back there I was going to be completely bored.

"Oh come on don't make that face Tro you can read a book." said Heero making a hand gesture.

"Wait you get electricity out here?" he glared at me.

"You're acting like a prick you do realize that right?"

"Are you allowed to use that sort of language?" my mouth is so going to get me into trouble one of these days.

"Look just because you aren't allowed to do anything that might further "deteriorate" your already damaged brain doesn't mean you can't make the best out of staying here this summer."

"Yes it does."

XXX

**W**hen we got back to the house he gave me a huge eight-hundred page book from his bed-room. It consisted of three books all together in one edition Heero said something about the individual books being out of print or something, in all honesty I just wanted something to _do_. I finished the first book in a couple of hours and was left slightly disturbed but strangely intrigued by the contents. It had something to do with a new race and each book was apparently done in a different point of view.

"I had no idea you were into guys Heero." I said after I had finished up in the bathroom.

"I'm not." stated Heero from the living room.

"Then what the hell are you doing with a book like that?" I asked as I sat down on the arm of the couch and watched him as he continued to play a typing game on the computer.

"I was bored and decided to look up different types of books and while looking something up for a friend I saw something on the side and clicked on it. All the reviews were positive so I decided I'd ordered it and well it sort of grew on me."

"Do your parents know you read that sort of stuff?" I asked as I stretched out a little.

"So what if the book deals with hermaphrodites and so what if basically all characters are referred to in the male sense. The topic in general is intriguing enough to keep my attention and apparently yours." he turned in his chair so that he was facing me.

"I'd have to say so far my favorite character is Cal." I flopped back onto the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"It would figure the guy's so screwed up, quick to judge, and cynical."

"And obviously is completely in love with Pell. In a way I hope that they end up together and have a kid."

"Harling." stated Heero turning off the computer and coming over to the couch and leaned over and blocked my view of the ceiling.

"Whatever." I said waving him off.

"You're so going to be upset in book two then."

"Why?" I sat up and stared at him. Who would have figured that I'd be so totally into a book about _she-males_? That probably sounds _really_ bad, in fact, I know it does! I really should start considering other peoples feelings, maybe later, I'm young yet.

"Into the book much?" he asked jumping over the couch sat down grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"The scary thing is it's like watching TV with all the good stuff still in it."

"You mean like sex scenes, foul language, and generally taboo topics all together?" he pressed down on the channel down button and didn't lift. I stared at the TV screen as every channel known to man passed by at God knows _what _speed.

"Yeah actually, but don't ever let it get out that I actually read a book for once." I picked at the loose thread from the tacky couch cover.

"Yes Aunt Liss? Hey you know Trowa read a book about gays and hermaphrodites and guess what? He enjoyed it." I grabbed one of the couch cushions and hit him with it.

"Touchy aren't we!" said Heero laughing.

"Shut up!"

"Look you're turning red!" said Heero still laughing as I continued to beat him with the cushion.

"Shove it!" I grabbed more cushions and then promptly tried to smother him to death.

"Mom!"

XXX

"Are we allowed to be here?"

"You're not afraid are you?"

"No."

"Then why the hell you stall'n?" said Heero quirking an eyebrow in my direction.

"Like fuck I am!" I promptly shoved past Heero and stood at the entrance of what looked like an abandoned mine or cave.

"Ooh the scary cave." drawled Heero creeping up behind me and shaking my shoulders.

"Will you cut that shit out!" I slapped his hands away from my neck. I never did like it when someone would get that close to me.

"Touchy aren't we? Honestly who knew that living in the city could make you such a sissy?" Heero turned on the flashlight he had brought with him from the house and I felt the immediate urge to clobber him with it.

**W**e crawled on hands and knees for a long while with dirt surrounding us and the only light came from the yellow flashlight that Heero held. I stared into the black void of the cave and wondered where the in Hell he was leading me. I could both smell and taste the moist dirt as we went deeper into the cave. Cold seemed to work it's way into my bones and my feet were colder than ice. Suddenly Heero seemed to disappear from my vision and franticly I turned my head trying to figure out what had happened to him. Then his head popped up almost from out of nowhere; there he was in a round grove in the deep pit of the cave. I felt as if I had crawled into the pit of a monsters belly. Old magazines littered the dirt ridden floor and an old tattered blanket which I supposed was once new and clean lay beneath all the rubble. Bottles were piled up in one corner and empty cigarette packs lay burnt and torn alongside open condom wrappers. I dare not wonder what people were doing in here; let alone what they did with the used condoms.

"Neat place isn't it?" I looked at Heero and felt like we definitely came from different worlds. Here he was impressed by a damn cave and all I could think was: God how cold it was down in here.

"I guess if you're easily entertained." for a brief second I thought I had saw something move and wanted to flee, but the last thing I wanted was to let Heero know that I was easily scared.

"I'm gonna be right back I need to take a piss." he started to make way for the way we came.

"Wait you're taking the flashlight!" there was no way in Hell I was going to stay here in complete darkness while he took off to go pee.

"Fine be a baby." he tossed me the flashlight and took off. After five minutes had passed I felt like a complete idiot.

**H**eero was a complete asshole. I know I was being a jerk, but I would never leave him in some damn cave because of it. After half an hour had passed I finally decided that he had abandoned me here. Worst yet was that the batteries that fueled my precious beacon of light were dying on me. Now being sure well that Heero was not around I let my panic take place. What if something lived down here and when it found me it'd try to eat me? This was the last place I'd want to die in an old moss mold ridden cave full of spiders and other creepy crawlers. Just thinking that made my body shiver with fear. I hated spiders. The light finally dissipated from my plastic flashlight and I was left in complete darkness. I had no watch so I had no idea what time it was. I was afraid for one of the very first times in my life. I wished to God that I was back home sitting at the local park with my friends smoking while we swung on the swings. I wasn't going to cry though; I knew that this was what it was all about. Heero could kiss my well tanned ass before I'd let being alone in this place get to me like that.

**H**ours seemed to pass like days and the next thing I knew I had fallen asleep. I remember dreaming that I was back home with my friends and that we were all in this small house that was actually a two story home. There was a stairwell that lead upstairs, but it seemed like it belonged in a rundown old farm house. Sun was shining threw the terribly noticeable cracks in the walls and straw seemed to dangle overhead. Then I was in a room where all the walls had been painted a very light blue color or I guess as most people call it baby-blue. I was sitting on a mattress on the floor next to some guy with long black hair and long nails. I remember him picking at his black painted nails and saying something to me, and then wrap his long white slender arms around me. Suddenly the room had been covered in blood and my friends and I had panicked and left in a hurry. We somehow were in front of the local mall and in the parking lot; there was a guy craning his truck out the back of his brown SUV. We took the guys keys and got in. The middle seats were glass and suspended only about an inch from the top only they weren't fashioned like normal seats. They were more slightly angled so that the tips of the glass were touching on the back and underneath you. We were then in a hotel room listening to some rock music. There was a knock on the door and the lady who owned the place said she was fine with us not being able to pay, but to at least keep the music down. We said sorry and ok. You could hear sirens screaming in the background and we knew it was for us. Buildings were on fire with smoke trailing up and the next thing I knew I was standing on a green patch of grass surrounded by water and alligators. One of my friends had come over to me and tried to push me towards the alligators; I had then shoved him down and started to choke him with the heel of my shoe. I let up and knew automatically that he was back to normal. A boat with two of my other friends had rowed up and we jumped in.

**A**fter that I woke up freezing. The first thing I saw was the most stunning shade of eyes I'd ever seen in my life. For a second I thought I was still dreaming and let my hand move to try and touch the strange apparition in front of me. That was the moment in which I knew I was no longer dreaming. It was hard to see, but I could tell that what stooped above me was a person. The most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. I could tell by the build of the person that it was a guy. He let me touch his left cheek and even nuzzled my hand and smiled warmly as I did so.

"Come, I'll be your body in the night and I'll lead ya where you might find yourself, better if you followed me." if anybody else had said those same words it would have come off as weird, but hearing him say it was just, right somehow.

"Ok." I had no idea who he was and just followed him like I had known him all my life and trusted him with just that….my life.

**H**e didn't say much and yet there were no awkward silences between us if that makes much sense. Carefully he lead me threw the cave with what seemed like practiced ease. Who could he possibly be? Heero had never mentioned this person to me and Heero had told me of everyone who lived in this sad excuse for a town that he lived in. Did Heero even know this guy, and if so, why would he have failed to mention him? When we had made it out of the cave I felt as if it was the first time I had ever inhaled fresh air. I dusted off my pants and noticed that there was a full moon tonight. With the glow of the bright moon on my side I looked at the person who had saved me from the damp cave.

**B**efore me stood this wondrous guy with long light-brown hair and amethyst colored eyes. He was wearing clothes too big for his slight frame and some old worn red sneakers. His hair was tied into a neat braid and there were dried bits of grass covering him. A quick glance at myself told me that this boy was not alone in the country fashion statement.

"My name's Trowa and thank you for getting me out of there." I held out my hand to him.

"It was nothing. But why would he leave you in there like that?" he took hold of my hand and shook it vigorously.

"I was being rude to him, but I don't see why he was so damn butt hurt over it." the boy seemed to latch himself onto my right arm and snuggle up against it. The boy seemed to have a smile that reminded me of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland. Only the boys' eyes would be closed as well as his mouth if that's even understandable. Slowly we started to walk.

"Rude?" the boy looked up at me with curious eyes.

"Uncouth, impolite." how old was this boy?

"Oh." the boy seemed not to mind that we were moving.

"Hey what's your name and how old are you?" it was a nice night. The air was cool and crisp; all the stars in the sky seemed to glow with life even though I knew that they were long past living and briefly wondered if I was just a passing memory for others to gaze upon.

"I think I'm fourteen and my name…….is Duo." he smiled up at me with those eyes of his and I knew they were eyes I'd never forget.

**B**efore I knew it we were but feet from my aunts' house, that's when Duo stopped walking with me. For a few seconds he stood in place holding both my hands and looked at them. It seemed as if he was trying to decipher the differences of our hands and slid his own pale hands up my own slim city tanned arms. The touch itself was something I wasn't quite use to. It was a weird feeling unto itself and knew instantly why this slim boy in front of me liked the feel of someone else's skin pressed against his own. In a sense it was comforting and scary at the same time. Then whatever trance had been bestowed on us was gone and in the distance I could hear yelling. With that Duo quickly pecked me on the cheek and left without a word.

**I **walked back to the house quietly wondering if by chance Duo was even real. I could feel the small rocks and gravel from beneath my feet and as they pressed against the cold soles of my feet I wished that all of this was just a dream. So that when I woke up I knew that there was something in my life that I wasn't missing. I walked up to the front porch and into the house.

"Heero I can't believe you left your cousin out there all by himself like that!" I heard my aunt yell.

"I didn't leave him there. I just forgot that he was even with me, you know I have a bad memory." oh yeah that was a very plausible explanation.

"Go out and get him now!" just as Heero was turning around I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"Holy shit!"

"My don't you have a mouth on you?" Heero got in trouble and was now grounded as I was. He wasn't allowed to go out with his friends or get on the computer. We spent that night talking about what I had seen.

**H**eero told me that what I had seen was probably a ghost and that no one else besides him and his friends knew their way around the cave. But the boy I met couldn't have been a ghost he was too real, too innocent, too warm to be something that was just a spirit. Heero said I was reading too much into what had happened; that strange unexplainable things were bound to happen, but I knew the even he didn't believe in that. He wanted to find out who that boy was just as much as I did. Only I'd be the one to find out I just knew it.

XXX

**M**ost of my days were spent like that here, pondering whether or not most things in my life really carried much meaning to start with. I wanted to see that boy again even knew that I'd see him again, but how I wasn't sure. It had been a week since that moment in the cave and all I'd done since then was finish all the books Heero had given me. I was sick of being cooped up in my aunts' house. I was sick of having to help my aunt cook pies and cakes. I was sick of raking the backyard. Sick of everything short of breathing let alone this monotonous life. Today Heero was supposed to take me somewhere he said was really "neat". I wasn't quite sure how to take that.

"So what is it that you want me to see?" we had been walking for Lord knows how long. Currently we were walking past an abandoned Hotel near the water. The hotel was near the side of a cliff out in the middle of nowhere. It looked as rundown as it sounded. Windows were broken the walls were gray in color and paint seemed to be torn from it by the rough salty air. I could almost taste the salt from the ocean below.

"It's a Wishing Well." Heero pointed to a round pile of rocks protruding from the ground.

"Oh yeah and what do I do toss a quarter down there and make a wish?" I couldn't help but ask that question in sarcasm.

"No you dumbass what you're supposed to do is write down something important to you on the Wishing Well wall. Like a secret, if it really is a true piece of "who" you are, all your wishes will come true." I got the feeling that Heero had done it himself.

"Does it really work?" I'm naturally a skeptic person I blame it all on my upbringing.

"For some it has and others………well we're still waiting." I watched Heero shrug his right shoulder and stare down the Well. Leaning over carefully I also stared down the Well; in the depths of this void lay all the dreams, secrets, wishes, and darkness that was our generation of hopeful believers. Those who wished they'd be able to live a life greater then the ones they were given. Wishes by those who desired nothing but someone to talk to in their life. He was the one to make the first wish, Duo. All those that came afterwards were those hoping for the same out come.

**T**his was something that should be done in private. Away from all the prying eyes that would usually surround one. One day I'd be the one to get to go into the Well and not only see the wishes of those before me, but all to come.

XXX

A/N: this is something that I've worked on slowly and will probably be updated whenever inspiration hits. I hate to leave half baked things on the stove so no matter what, whatever I have written or will write will be finished in due time that's a promise I made to and for myself.

Inspired by the Five For Fighting song: The Devil in the Wishing Well.

The fist line Duo says is part of the song, but only slightly altered.

The book mentioned is Wreaththu by Storm Constantine I highly recommend it.


	2. Enlightenment

**Chapter 2**

**Enlightenment **

_And as I walk along this crimson path alone in my solitude of silence can I hear only you. Those whispers that followed me carry on into eternity, the sorrow in your voice carried on in me. _

**H**eero said that he'd head out for the Hotel and wait for me to get done. When I had asked him how to get down he pointed to a rope that looked much worn, there were knots tied on it and I wondered how many people used it before me. Heero had told me that there was a trapped spirit living down the Well and that it read every wish written upon the walls. He said _It_ only granted those _It_felt deserved to have them. I wanted to call him an idiot, tell him shit; say that I didn't believe a word of it, but all I could do was stare down the Well and wonder if it was Duo.

**A**s I made my way down the old rope I saw millions of different words scrawled across the cobble stone walls surrounding me. Some written in blue reading: I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME, some in red saying: I WISH MY PARENTS WOULD STOP YELLING, and some in bold black: I WISH WE HAD MONEY. I guess that no matter where you live problems will always be the same. I wasn't quite sure at first what it was that I wanted to write down on the cold wall before me and had clutched to the rope for a long time before finally deciding. With the permanent Sharpie marker poised I carefully wrote down what my wish was.

PLEASE LET ME SEE HIM AGAIN.

**I** wanted to laugh out loud at myself for taking so long on deciding. My wish was sadly obvious from the start. I looked down and tried to see the bottom, but all I could see was the rope disappearing into the black abyss. Sometimes I have a tendency to get over curious, and so, climbed down the rest of the rope. When I had made it to the bottom I couldn't see a thing and had to let my eyes adjust. I saw something, like a flicker from a light, and then out of no where I could see a small circle of light far off down the small tunnel-like passage.

**W**hat else could I do but follow it? Anything would be better than throwing rocks through windows and listening to Heero telling me to stop. It was strange, never once in my life had I ever thought that I'd be doing something like this. The most I'd ever see myself doing would be getting arrested for shoplifting, not walking down a passageway in an old Well.

**W**hen I got within feet of the light I realized that there was a person lying next to it. How many people had traveled this deep into the Well? And how many got to see this ethereal beauty lighted by the dim glow of an oil lamp? I watched as he shifted on the small mound of blankets surrounding him, he was curled up in a small ball. Briefly I wondered what was it that he was dreaming of, and what would happen if he woke up and found me standing here watching him? I turned around and walked back the way I came, letting my slender fingers trial the wall beside me; when I made it back to the inner part of the Well I saw that the rope was piled down on the ground. Looking up, all I could see was blue sky and dark clouds outlined in a golden color.

"Fuck now what am I supposed to do!" I sat down and leaned up against the cold stone. I wanted to yell, but knew that Heero was too far away to hear.

**C**ould there ever have been a time more worse then this, besides Heero trying to abandon me in the cave of course. How long would it take before Heero even realized that something was wrong? This was really going to suck. Gently I began to bang my head on the cold damp stone pressed against my back. I let my mind wonder to times me and my friends had spent together. Shoplifting from the local electronic stores of course was _always_ a fun pastime me and my friends loved to pursue. Oh, who the Hell was I kidding; I wanted to go to Duo, wanted to talk to him….something. I pulled my legs up to my chest and sighed.

"Whacha doin' Trowa?" came a sing-song voice from the dark.

"Holy shit!" quickly I jumped up and tried desperately to press myself against the stone wall.

"You're funny you know that?" laughed the boy still hiding in the dark shadows of the Well. It hadn't occurred to me until that moment, but it was Duo standing there with his hands clutched behind his back and head tilted ever so slightly.

"Yeah I guess." I exhaled not knowing that I had been holding my breath in the first place.

"So you make a wish?" he stepped closer to me, looked up, and smiled. The expression on his face reminded me of a time when Heero had come to visit us for the first time and kept gazing at all the tall buildings.

"Yeah." I stepped away from the wall and picked up the rope that had fallen.

**I **stared as he pressed his pale hands against the gray stone, then he pulled his gaze from the wall and smiled directly at me, causing chills to run down my spine. He grabbed my free hand and tugged me along with him down the tunnel. It felt as if electricity was pulsing through my very palm. We stopped when he got to what I assumed was a makeshift bedroom and he hauled me down with him onto the small pile of blankets. The blankets smelled like they'd been in an old chest for ages and felt like damp clothes left wet in a basket for days. For what it's worth, I believe this was definitely one of the best moments of my life.

"I was gon' go to the small lake and swim do you wanna come?" he was playing with my bangs.

"Sure I guess."

**H**e smiled at me with those beautiful amethyst colored eyes of his; there was nothing I probably wouldn't do for him. There was just something about him that made me feel so perfectly comfortable in his presence. He got off the small pile of blankets and pulled the tall board that was up against the dirt wall and placed it on the floor. Behind it was another passage way. Grabbing my hand he led me further into the tunnel and unlike before I wasn't afraid of this new unknown territory. And as for Heero, I'm sure he probably thought I'd left him there alone in order to get back at him for what he'd done.

**W**e came to an abrupt halt and for a second I thought Duo had taken a wrong turn or something. Then he lifted his arms and pushed at something above us, the next second light came pouring down. It was weird and oddly exciting. The kind of thing you'd do when you were young. Like building a secret club house with hidden passage ways to ensure that no one could find you or for a great escape. I watched as he hoisted himself up with ease, I myself actually had trouble lifting myself up, considering the only thing I'd ever lifted was a two liter bottle of soda, so Duo had to help me up.

"This is it." said Duo with a smile.

"It's very beautiful." it was surrounded by trees and other assorted shrubbery. Truth be told the last time I'd ever been near a lake was like when I was three or something. Duo started taking off clothes and that was when it dawned on me that we were not jumping in with anything on; and the last time anyone ever saw me naked was when I was at a friend's house taking a shower and his sister walked in.

"Come on in it feels good." he'd already jumped in and was swimming around.

"I uh….. oh fuck it." no one else was here and it wasn't as if Duo had anyone to tell.

**A**fter shedding my inhibitions, and clothes, I jumped into the cool lake water. Duo splashed me the second my head resurfaced, which to be honest the water looked a tad murky, but still it was the most fun I'd ever remembered having that didn't end up with me getting in trouble. Once we were done playing and just lazily padding around, Duo took the tie off his hair and carefully unraveled it. It was dark with dirt and had not been cleaned probably since the last time he'd hopped into the lake.

**I **watched him as he ran his fingers through his hair trying to take out any tangles his slim fingers found. He'd lean his head just far enough so that his face was still above the water. I couldn't help but watch, and truth be told, I'm not sure why he was constantly coursing through my mind. Slowly I made my way to the ground and tried wringing the water from my bangs, it'd been a while since I'd last cut them. A few seconds later I could hear Duo getting out of the water. He'd walked up behind me without my knowing and just hugged me. I could feel my face burn. He had no sense of, well, anything when it came to being around people.

XXX

**B**y evening I found myself back at the Cliffside; Duo had walked with me for a while and then left when we'd been mere meters from the hotel. I sat on the edge of the Well and could only smile. After about five minutes of just sitting I finally decided that I'd go into the hotel. There was a gravel path leading up to the driveway and deep groves near the front of the hotel.

**T**he front door was a faded blue color, which meant that apparently gray was not its original color. I grabbed hold of the rickety door handle and pushed it open; dust seemed to pour from the warped wooden floors above my head. There were stairs off to the right of me; it didn't seem as if anyone else had ever been in here. Although I knew that wasn't true because somewhere in here my cousin and his friends would hang out.

**I** made my way up the creaking stairs and found myself in an empty room with a window as big as the walls surrounding it. The moon was casting blue shadows across the wooden dust covered floor. I stepped into the room and looked around; there were old rotting curtains on the floor and some pages from a torn notebook. There was one of those window benches next to the foot of the large window. I walked over to where the torn notebook lay and crouched down picking up all the pieces of the notebook. I held them close to my chest and lay down on the floor and just stared up at the ceiling.

**I**'m not quite sure how long I was staring up at the ceiling, but I stared until it all just seemed to swirl together. Gray mixing in with a sea green color, I sighed. Life here was so much more different than the city. In the city you could hear the sounds of cars constantly passing, dogs barking, sometimes even gun shots. But here, here you'd hear the sounds of crickets chirping, the ocean crashing against sand, and all other sorts of strange animals howling into the early cover of night.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here!" I jumped at the voice, it was my uncle.

"What?" I sat up and for some reason clutched to the torn notebook still in my arms.

"Your cousins been beating himself up all evening trying to figure the hell out what the hell happened to you!" he stood by the door holding it open and waiting for me to leave the room first.

"I'm sorry." I got up off the ground and walked out of the room and down the stairs.

**O**utside the car was running, and Heero was sitting in the backseat glaring at me. My uncle came out of the house and got into the car, for a second I just stood there staring out toward the Well. Then I got into the front seat and listened to my uncle lecture me about not being able to trust me and Heero going out by ourselves anymore.

**W**hen we got home we were immediately sent to bed. Currently we were both lying awake. Heero asked me what had happened. Said he'd looked out the window and noticed that the rope was gone and went down to check out what was wrong.

"I saw him again Heero."

"Who?"

"That boy I told you about, from the cave." I watched him from my position on the bed.

"What does he look like Trowa?" he sat up and leaned against the wall at the head of his bed.

"……..Long hair, brown, the most beautiful violet eyes you'd ever see……and a smile that reminds you of childhood." it was late and it didn't occur to me till later how I sounded.

"Oh…….tomorrow my friends and I are gonna start a bonfire just for the hell of it. If you wanna go that'd be cool." he folded his arms behind his head.

"Inviting me to hang out with you and your friends?" I turned onto my back and closed my eyes. Ignoring the fact that he'd changed the subject.

"Uh, yeah, why?" I could hear him shift on the bed.

"You think I'm crazy don't you?" I sat up and looked at him.

"I didn't say anything." he moved so that he was lying down again and for a while it got really quite.

"That's ok," I whispered. "I don't need you to believe me." I went to bed that night for the first time feeling completely happy with my life.

XXX

**T**he fire was practically kissing the stars and sitting as far as I was I could still feel the heat. Heero's friends consisted of three other guys and a girl named Ebony. She irritated the hell out of me. When Heero first introduced me to her she kept flirting with me. It irritated me more because Heero and his friends were obviously trying to push us two together. I'd finally managed to escape and was lying down on a huge rock.

"Hey Trowa we're gonna play a round of hide an' seek wanna play?"

"God how old are you people?" I slightly turned my head and gave my cousin a look that clearly said I thought he and his friends were stupid.

"Don't be such a jerk Trowa we're just trying to have some fun."

"Fun is a bottle of vodka on a Saturday night outside Cedar Falls. Hey any of you got a cigarette on you?" I sat up and let my feet dangle over the side.

"No." said one of his friends.

"Well why the hell not!" I felt like being an ass for a bit.

"Because we're not chain smoking alcoholics!" yelled one of Heero's friends.

"What the hell crawled up your ass and died?" I lay down on the rock my face gracing the sky.

"You damnit!"

"Gee thanks for the visual, Billy Bob." I tried using a southern accent and could tell it was pissing him off.

"I can't believe you're related to that loser Heero." said one of the other guys as they walked off.

"Yeah honestly, come on lets go." their voices came out dim in the night.

"He's not that bad."

"You're only saying that because you think he's cute Eb." and the voices disappeared.

**F**or a while I just stared up at the sky, it was weird, ever since I came here I've had this strange compulsion to continuously stare up at the stars. I want to say that it's because I was finally coming to understand how beautiful the world truly was, but it wasn't. It was because everything somehow reminded me of Duo. I know I hadn't spent that much time with him, but suddenly he was the only important person in my life. I knew then, at this moment, no one could or would ever take his place.

"Pssst…" I leaned over the side but didn't see anyone. I was gonna sit up but there was an abrupt weight on my stomach.

"What're you doing here?" he laughed and leaned over me so that our foreheads were touching, his braid sliding over his shoulder and lightly ticking my ear.

"I wanna take ya somewhere. C'mon!" he quickly got up and jumped off the rock; he stood with his hands on his hips like he was waiting for me to jump off too.

"Don't look at me like that!"

"Just jump, it's not far." he smiled up at me, laughing he outstretched his arms and made a hand gesture like a kid would when saying 'give me give me.'

"If I hurt myself you're carrying me, just so you know." and with that I jumped down with my eyes clenched shut. He was right, it wasn't that far.

"All you have to do is offer." he whispered into my ear and somehow piggy-backed me for about a three minutes before finally laughing and letting me down.

"Didn't mean to struggle." I laughed; he clutched to my arm and sighed.

**H**e grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together. It made me blush for some reason, I mean he'd always hold my hand, but suddenly it meant so many different things to me. Holding hands like this was something lovers did….. I wonder if Duo knew what he was doing being so intimate with me at times. I can feel the heat radiating from his body beside me. I never really thought about it before, but relationship wise…….

"We're here!" here was a clearing in the middle of trees.

"Um….Duo why'd you bring me here?" there was noting of interest anywhere, at least nothing I could see.

"Two reasons." he smiled brightly and had held up two fingers.

"Which are?" he held a finger to his lips.

"Shhh…listen, look." he made a flowing gesture with his right hand.

**A**nd suddenly it seemed as if the whole area we were in magically lighted up. Little balls of light seemed to float out of no where. And in the distance I could hear the soft sound of music playing. Slow soft and wonderful sounds making its way through wood and leaves, this is what Duo wanted to show me. Magic in nature.

"Duo…it's-" he cut me off.

"Dance with me Trowa." he grabbed my hands and pulled me close to him.

"I can't dance Duo." I slipped my arms around his waist regardless.

"Everyone can dance Trowa, even if they've never done it before, it's…..its there, always." he rested his head against my shoulder, face buried in my neck.

"You mean like a primal instinct?" I couldn't tear my eyes off Duo.

"Primal?" he mumbled from the crook of my neck.

"I mean basic, like always been there?" I felt him nod.

"Yeah, primal." he whispered.

**H**is eyelashes tickled my neck and I fought hard not to laugh. Even if there wasn't music, I'd probably still have danced with him though. Like I said, there's probably nothing I wouldn't do for him. So long as I could see him smile and feel his touch.

"Hey Duo?"

"Hm-mm?" he lifted his head from my shoulder, his lips mere inches from my own.

"Thanks." I rested my forehead against his.

"For what?" he spun us around a bit.

"For bringing me here, it means a lot to me."

"It does?" he seemed a bit confused.

"Yeah, it does." I lightly laughed and pulled him tighter against me and I heard him gasp.

He pulled his head abruptly from mine and blinked, looking both left and right. "I think I need to go."

"I didn't mean-" he smiled at me again and "shushed" me.

"Silly, it's not you…..I just have to go." he laughed in a childlike manner and quickly kissed me on the lips and ran off.

**I** brought my right hand to my lips and touched them. That was my first kiss. I knew my eyes were wide I was so shocked. I guess it never occurred to me that Duo might have those kinds of thoughts, feelings, needs. But then again, maybe it was all primal instinct.

"Trowa?" the voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. "Are you ok, you look out of it?"

I could feel myself smile, "Yeah I'm fine Ebony."

"I thought you didn't want to play?" she walked over to me.

"I uh……had to pee." if that damn excuse worked for Heero it could work for me.

"Eeew you couldn't wait!" her face contorted into funny expression.

"Don't worry, I sort of got lost and forgot." I started walking back the way she came.

"Trowa, I'm sorry!" she yelled from behind me.

"For what?" I turned and looked at her, arching an eyebrow for affect hoping it came off as if I thought she was stupid or weird.

"For everyone trying to push us together, I know it probably ruined your night……so I'm sorry." she looked back at me as if she didn't trust me at all.

"I'm not gonna do anything to you so stop giving me that look. And you don't have to apologize, just make sure you stop flirting. It's annoying, especially if it's unwelcome." I started walking back and she fell into step with me.

"I'll stop flirting, but you have to tell me who you were with." her smile reminded me of a demon out of game I'd once played.

"How do you know if I was with someone?" I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest.

"What other reason would a guy have to smile like that?" she sounded stuck up, like she knew what she was talking about. Fuck she's pissing me off. But maybe she might know who Duo was.

"Masturbation."

"Ug don't be so vulgar!" she threw her hands in the air and started walking faster to get away from me.

"If I say something you promise not to tell anyone?" she stopped in her tracks.

"No."

"Damnit!"

"I'm joking, God don't get so testy!" she leaned against a tree.

"Well don't be such a bitch." I growled at her.

"Geez stop being such a guy! Are you gonna tell me or not because if you're not I'm going." she looked at me expectantly.

XXX

**W**hen we finally got back to the bonfire Heero and the others were asleep. Ebony and I were sitting on top of the huge rock swinging our legs over the edge. She'd been quite ever since I finished my story. Maybe she thought I was crazy too. Delusional even.

"Just say something. Anything!" I clenched my fists.

"You're gay, no wonder you don't want me. I mean at first I thought it was me, come on I'm hot, but I mean if you like guys that so explains it."

"Fuck you, I'm not gay!" I wanted to push her off the rock.

"Do you like spending time with him?" she didn't seem bothered by my outburst.

"Well yeah." I looked down at the sand. I suddenly I felt uncomfortable.

"How do you feel when he looks at you?" I knew she was looking at me and I couldn't bring myself to stare back at her.

"Like the very core of my soul is on fire." I felt my face heat up. "I mean-!"

She cut me off, "I think you're in love."

"Aw crap." I laid back and dug the heel of my hands into my eyes.

"Maybe you're bi?" I heard her move.

"Touch me and you'll be the first girl I've ever shoved off a rock."

XXX

**O**n our way home Heero was trying to shake sand from his hair. He apologized for trying to force "Eb" on me, said he was only trying to help. I told him to fuck off. My aunt fed us and I read some more before we were told to finally go to sleep. Lying in bed that night I couldn't help but let my fingers trace my lips. Maybe……..I was falling in love. God I'm so terrified.

XXX

A/N: Sorry for the wait. I did say I wrote when inspiration struck, I just don't want it coming off as forced is all. But on the bright side I've got most of the end done, so when time comes you won't have to wait too long for that one.

Big thanks to my reviewer. It means a lot to me!


	3. Omnipotent

**Chapter 3**

**Omnipotent **

_Our two souls linger in the same past and when we meet again I'll share with you every secret that I kept._

**I** woke up this morning to the smell of pancakes and sausages; I'm still not use to that. I looked over to the opposite side of the room and noticed that Heero was already up, his bed was made. I decided I wasn't gonna get up just yet, in fact I wanted to lay in bed for the rest of my life. I don't want to deal with what's starting to pick up around me. The door to the room opened and with it came the sweet smell of a familiar perfume I'd often come to associate with my mother. Sunday mornings spent getting ready for church in the early break of dawn. As a child watching my mom fix her hair, putting on her gold cross necklace, and the finishing touch…..two dabs of perfume on either side of her neck. I was a bit confused as to why she would even be here.

"Trowa, what are you still doing in bed?" she stood by the opened door.

I sighed, _waiting for the end of the world_. "Didn't feel like getting up yet."

"Well come on already, they're eating breakfast without you." she clapped her hands as she spoke, like it was urgent that I eat.

"What are you even doing here?" I threw the blankets off me. I ran a hand through my bangs, scratched the side of my thighs, and fixed the T-shirt I was wearing.

"God I don't know, I'm only your mother that's all."

**S**he walked out the room and I followed her into the kitchen. Heero and my uncle were both sitting down at the table, my aunt was flipping what I guessed was her version of French toast. My mom sat down and I sat opposite her in the small kitchen. My aunt placed a plate down in front of me along with a cup of coffee. It took me a couple of days to convince her I was allowed to drink it. Part of me was glad Mom was here, it gave me a distraction, but another part of me didn't want it.

"So Trowa, what've you done here so far?" she was munching on some toast, staring directly at me.

"I haven't stolen, drank, smoked, or killed anyone if that's what you mean." I took a huge gulp of my coffee and stared at my plate.

"He scared the hell out of his cousin." said my uncle.

"He deserved it." and it wasn't like I did that on _purpose_.

"What he do to you?" asked my mom looking at me.

"Left him in that old cave." said my uncle as he turned the page of his news paper.

"Oh Trowa you poor thing I hope you weren't too terrified I know how you're scared to be alone in the dark, and spiders, and that you don't like getting your clothes dirty."

"Mom!"

"That's why you ran out of the shed that day!" laughed Heero.

XXX

"Mom, don't read too much into this, but what exactly does it mean when you don't want to see someone, but at the same time desperately want to?" I licked the melting ice-cream making its way down the back side of my hand.

"Ah……did you meet somebody?" she gave me a look like it was the most impossible thing in the world.

"Don't give me that look! And I asked a question." we were sitting on a bench outside a store that was at least forty-five minutes away from Heero's house.

"Um…I don't know, I guess it means that even though you want to be around this person you're afraid of what might happen if you're alone with each other." she took a quick swig of the drink in her hand.

"Oh." maybe that was it.

"Or I could be wrong and you're just not ready for a real relationship at this point in your life." she smiled at me.

"I hate you." I glared at her for a second and sighed.

"Hate is such an angry word Trowa, exhale the anger inhale the peace." she paused for a second then started laughing.

"Where in Gods name did you get something like that." I gave her a look that clearly said I thought she was strange.

"Way too much T.V!" she leaned against my shoulder.

"You're heavy." I tried not to laugh.

"Let's see you pop out a kid and keep your figure."

"Let's not."

"Hey Trowa!" I looked up and saw Ebony walking up the steps.

"Uh…..hey Eb." she stopped in front of us.

"Trowa, who's your friend?" crap.

"Yeah, this is Ebony she's a friend of Heero's, Eb this is my mom." I lamely gestured at both of them.

"Nice to meet you." they both shook each other's hands.

"Well I gotta get inside, need to pick up some things for dinner." she winked at me and went inside.

My mom looked at me and was about to open her mouth when I cut her off. "No mom, not her."

"She seems nice, how'd you two meet exactly? I mean, I know you meet her through your cousin and all, but you seem pretty close for just meeting." she's my mom; I guess she'd be able to tell something like that.

"Heero invited me to go out with his friends and they all went out to uh….play hide and seek. I was a bit of an ass to them and stayed behind, I went off by myself and she stumbled across me. When we got back to the bonfire everyone else had fallen asleep and we just talked for a while." I could feel my face start to heat up, how could I have told Eb all that when I had barely met her!

"About what?" she took another sip from her drink.

"Un….that's a bit personal." my ears felt like they were on fire and I shifted in my spot, I knew I was blushing.

"Oh my God you're fidgeting! How cute!" she lightly pushed my shoulder.

"Mom!" I covered my face with my free hand.

**T**he bell over the door rung as someone stepped outside into the warm summer air. The smell of dust filled the air around us and a cool breeze wafted out of the store. Eb had paused and was talking to the store clerk; she'd said something about coyotes and their trash cans.

"She's pretty." whispered my mom.

"Not my type." I mumbled from behind my empty cone.

"Yeah he likes boys." my eyes widened and Ebony winked at me as she walked out the store and got into the passenger side of the car.

"Oh God she didn't just say that." I felt a shock pulse through my entire body and every inch of me felt numb.

"Kids these days and their jokes." she laughed and I just stared at her, she thought Eb was joking!

"Uh…..yeah." she finally stopped and noticed I was staring at her.

"……..Trowa? Are you ok, you look pale?" she placed the back of her hand on my forehead.

"Oh-ho-ho yeah, absolutely fine." I tossed what was left of my cone into the garbage can and wiped my hand on a napkin.

"She wasn't joking was she?" she had this questioning look adorning her features.

"Can we not talk about it?" I shouldn't have reacted that way, I should have just played it off as a joke, now it was too late for it. What was wrong with me? I never use to be this slow when thinking up some sort of lie. I wonder if she's disgusted with me……

"Trowa-" she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged it off and got off the bench. "I don't want to talk about it, let's just go back to the house ok."

**I** went and sat in the car, while my mom went back inside the store for a few minutes. I was never going to talk to Eb again! I can't believe she said that, even jokingly she shouldn't have said a word of it! Oh God what was going through my mom's mind right now? I covered my face with my hands and could feel my body shaking. I don't understand what's going on with me anymore….

The driver side door opened and my mom sat down. "Trowa, you're crying……."

"I'm terrified mom. I don't know what's going on anymore with me and I can't take not understanding." I kept rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands.

"I have to admit, this is a little unlike you Trowa." said my mom in a small voice as she leaned across her seat and halfway pulled me into her arms.

"I don't know what to do, I like him a lot. When I'm not around him I feel so lonely, I miss his smile, his voice, and I haven't even been away from him or even around him that long." I clutched tightly to her for the first time in my life.

**N**ever once since I got to junior high had I said a word to my mother about my life or even how school was going for me. Ever since she divorced my dad I'd held such a grudge against her, I blamed her for everything because we moved so far away and I never got to see him. I acted up intentionally so that she'd send me off to my dad's, but I found out he didn't even want me with him. I'd gotten so angry that I really didn't care what happened to me after that, I'd do whatever the hell I'd wanted. That is till I got caught. We'd argued so much and she tried sending me to a therapist, that didn't do much good so my mom just stopped my sessions. End result me winding up here……. I think I'm starting to get more screwed up than when I left.

"I'm not exactly sure what to do Trowa this is territory I've never treaded on before. But if it's anything like a norma…..regual…..well love is love and I'm not really judgmental so….oh…..ok this is a bit awkward." she ran her hands in circles on my back.

"Don't tell my dad, please, I don't want him to hate me more then he already does." I can't stop myself from crying, the tears just keep coming.

XXX

**W**e'd talked for a long time; I never thought I'd see the day when I'd actually tell her everything about me. It was that raw exposure that I think she'd been hoping we'd have with each other when I was a child. She always tried so hard to get me to open up to her, and the strange thing is it actually felt nice. My mom left after she dropped me off back at her sisters, apparently she'd also come down to visit her ex-boyfriend in the next town over. Small world. I asked her not to tell anyone in the family about…….well me liking another boy, it's not like I didn't want my family to know. You see, most of our family has this bad habit of talking shit behind each others backs and the last thing I want to hear is one of my little cousins calling me a faggot at our next reunion.

**T**hat same night my aunt took me, Heero, and his friends to the local video store and we rented a bunch of scary movies. She'd said that yeah she knew I was supposed to be grounded, but what my mom didn't know wouldn't hurt her. I didn't want anyone to know I'm afraid of scary movies so I sat next to Eb, regardless of my feelings at the moment, hoping she was also afraid of them, lucky me, she likes them…..Heero on the other hand kept jumping. What a fucking sissy, at least I didn't jump like he did, I just clutched tightly to the pillow I was holding and kept looking everywhere but the TV.

**I**t sucks having to spend my time watching movies with these idiots when I could be outside spending it with Duo before I had go back home. Halfway through the second movie I fell asleep and when I woke up all the lights were out and I didn't see anyone. I was about to get up when I heard Heero's friends talking behind me.

"Lets go through his things!"

"Yeah!"

"You guys….."

"It's his fault; he shouldn't have fallen asleep with us here."

"Case, Trent, cut that shit out! Now!"

"Geez Eb, the guy turns you down and you're still on his side?"

"He didn't turn me down; I decided I was way out of his league. So I'm just saving him the heart break, so shut the fuck up you dick!"

From behind me I heard Case mutter under his breath "He turned you down."

**A**n alarm clock landed next to my head and it took all my strength not to flinch. That girl is crazy, what the hell was she thinking throwing that heavy crap around the room for? To be honest I really don't give a shit if they go through my things, it's not like I have anything to hide really. I could hear Heero and his friends in the room picking through stuff and just tossing it on the floor. Someone had picked up the acoustic guitar that Heero had stashed in his closet and started messing with it. Whoever was trying to play couldn't play for shit.

"Trent put that down, it took forever to tune it." said Heero.

**I** could hear heavy stuff hitting the floor and paper being shuffled around. Taking a deep breath I told myself I was gonna get up and raise hell for everyone. Two seconds later I discovered I was too lazy to get my ass up off the cold damn floor to do anything. Sighing I resigned myself to a blob on the floor listening to their inane chatter. I heard a door shut and assumed all of them went to run around and act like fools in the field behind Heero's house. Hell I was almost asleep till someone sat down next to me.

"Dude I know you're awake."

"Fuck Off." I mumbled pulling the blanket over my head.

"God you and Eb both act like you're on a constant PMS."

"What the hell do you want Case!" I threw my blanket off me and sat up and glared at him.

"Man you look so funny when your hair is messed up." he laughed hard and I wanted to hit him.

"Shut up damnit!" I quickly ran my fingers through my bangs.

"Anywho Eb just wanted me to tell you that she's "sorry" for saying what she did in front of your mom."

"Well tell her to go to hell!" I got up and went to the room and slammed the door shut.

**I** could hear them outside, all of them, laughing and talking without a care in the world, it pissed me off. I watched as the moon crept into the room making the swirling dust in the air look like glitter. I lifted my hand slowly in the air and flexed it. Was life always going to be this way bitter, hurtful, strange….

XXX

**I** wanted life to come to a standstill hell or even a crawl! I wanted moments like these to last forever, where I could stare at Duo sleeping peacefully, next to me. Earlier we took off to the little lake and got our feet wet for a while after Duo "taught" me how to climb a tree. Needless to say I ended up with a bit of scrapes and bruises and instead of carefully climbing down, I fell.

**R**ight now we're lying down underneath a tree; we were only going to lay down for a little bit till we felt rested. But I guess Duo just got tired and fell asleep with his head pressed against my chest. I keep running my fingers through his hair, I can't help it. He looks so angelic while he's asleep.

"Nmm….Trowa?" mumbled Duo sleepily.

"Yeah Duo?" I ran my hands up and down his back.

"Kiss me." whispered Duo.

"Duo?" I looked around as if people might be hiding in the trees waiting any second to catch us.

"That's me." he half mumbled/ giggled, I could feel the vibration of his voice slowly pulse through my chest like a ripple on water.

"You know, you have a way with making me feel awkward sometimes." I pulled him up slightly so that we were face to face.

"Awkward?" he touched my face, lightly ghosting warm trails near my temples.

"Never mind." I shook my head and smiled.

**I** could hardly breathe; he'd managed to push all his weight on my chest. Small pulses of shock kept quietly bolting throughout my lower body. I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Strange to me as it was Duo seemed to want to take the lead. Me being the secret cowered that I am about this, let him. Duo seemed to make even the most simplest of kisses electrifying. He started running his hands slowly up my sides; his hands ended up in my hair and my heart somewhere at me knees.

**N**ow it seems that most of my time is spent ditching Heero and his retard band of idiots for friends; just so I can go and spend it with Duo. I never would have figured that life could be so absolutely wonderful, minus a few inconveniences. In a month and a half I'll have to go back home and back to school, back to the city. Leave all this, leave……Duo. None of which, to be honest, I wanted.

**I'd **like to say that what happened in the days to come were spent lounging around peacefully with Duo. That I'd managed to convince my mom to let Duo come and live with us and that Duo agreed as well. That we spent the rest of our live together happily enjoying ourselves. That Duo went to school and became someone truly important to everyone and not just me. But to say all that now would be a lie…………

XXX

A/N: I had quite a hard time figuring out the title for this chapter, I'm still a bit unhappy about it, but part of me feels it fits.

If you can feel the end coming on, that's because it is. From the beginning I hadn't planed on this being anymore then 4 to 5 chapters. Well the next one is almost ready for posting, save but a few editing glitches I must fix, and some add on's I'll come up with a wee bit later.

I'd like to thank: kuro no baka, darksaphire, and Rori Barton for leaving me a review V they made my day!

Ps. darksaphire I'll try writing a 1x3 just for you!


	4. Lament

**Chapter 4**

Lament

_When I saw your face at the end of my eternity I realized what mistakes I'd made before I'd started out on this journey. When fate and souls intertwine, pain is the only outcome a love like ours can truly share. But this fate and this love, is what I've cherished…… _

**I**'d managed to take off on my own. I felt lost. That morning we all went to church, it was a small congregation. I'd hardly gone to church back home and realized how little it affected me. I was a "wondering soul" who got mixed up in the poisons of my generation. Decadence masked by pleasure and intoxicants. And liquid courage found at the bottom of a bottle labeled 50proff (not healthy I'm sure). I found no solace bound in a thick black cover, paper, and words too small to read.

**W**alking by myself felt good, I got sick of being around Heero and his friends. They were like a bunch of kids, though to be honest I admire the fact that they can still be young in all aspects. It's like staying in that sort of mind frame somehow shields you from everything that knowledge could possibly hurt you with.

**I** found myself at the place Heero and his friends usually hung out at, where he had that bon fire. I stood near the big rock I had sat on with Eb, leaning against it I could feel the heat from the sun radiating from it. Could you say, too much in so little amount of time? Not even halfway through my summer vacation and it seemed like such a long time had passed. Though, that could just be because like almost **nothing** happens here. Of course nothings not including Duo……..

**G**od I've had so many dirty dreams since the other day ago I feel like a pervert. The things I want to do to him, poor Heero, it still makes me laugh. He was subject to an inopportune site of me last night in the bedroom, but what the hell he was doing coming home at two in the morning after saying he'd be staying at Case's is beyond me. The jerk had the most shocked expression on his face you'd ever see. Two seconds later he was sputtering and looking away trying to hide his embarrassment. Little that did because his mom came into the room and saw Heero, the open window,…….and me… Could we say awkward?

**N**eedless to say we had quite the lecture; I wanted to laugh so hard. She thought me and Heero were….well experimenting, saying: "Not that anything's wrong with experimenting it's just you two are _cousins."_ Heero kept trying to say otherwise and all I did was grin. Eventually though Heero got his point across by sharing something I really didn't need to know about his sex life. Man Heero's a perv, he had so many dirty magazines it wasn't even funny. His mom sighed in relief and told me it would probably be in my best interest to do that sort of stuff in a locked bathroom.

"I wonder….." I went over to one of the trees and tried climbing it. Struggling a bit I managed to make it up the semi tall tree, albeit with some scratches on my palms but I did it on my own. The view from there was absolutely wonderful.

XXX

**H**alfway through my little escape I ran into Duo. We ventured off to the secluded lake and sat in the sun. Color tinted leaves slowly drifted off the trees in a soft breeze by us. Duo was sitting between my legs with his back pressed against my chest. He's the most cutest person I've ever laid my eyes upon in my life

"I'm gonna miss you, Trowa." said Duo wistfully.

"What?" I looked down a bit so that I could see into his eyes.

"Well," he said moving so that he was sitting up facing me. "you said you'd only be here till the leaves started to turn brown. An' since it's getting colder now, that means…that means you'll be…..leaving." his eyes were downcast and he was fiddling with the chain dangling from my belt.

"Duo….." I slowly lifted my head and stared at him directly in the eyes and realized how sad both of us were going to be by the end of my stay.

"I'll still be here though, always. You'll come back again I know it." he grabbed hold of my hand and hugged it.

"Yeah, I will Duo." I smiled sadly. I really didn't like the somber tone of this conversation. I guess seriousness always made me feel uncomfortable, never one to deal well with any sort of conflict or serious matter. "Lets do something Duo."

"Like what?" he sat up.

"Something, anything, just as long as we're doing it together." we got up and walked off together.

**I**'d gone quickly back to the house to pick up some jackets for us to wear and a change of clothes. Lucky for me, my aunt and uncle weren't home when I ran in rummaging through anything and everything quick as hell. I wanted to dress Duo up so much; I mean it's obvious how absolutely beautiful he'd look really cleaned up. When I got back to where Duo was we took off back to where the hotel was. I changed clothes and asked Duo if he wanted to try on the clothes I brought for him.

"Um….." he turned his head slightly looking at the shirt in his hand, while I brought out a brush for his hair. "Do you think it'd fit?"

"I think so, I looked through all my drawers. Those were the only things I could find that looked like they would." I undid his hair and started running the brush through it.

"Mm that feels nice." he'd closed his eyes. We were sitting on the floor in an empty room, the only sound we could hear was ourselves.

I'd finished doing Duo's hair and now he was changing while I stared out the window looking out at the ocean. Would Duo always be here like he said? It did seem that at this point that he'd have no future if he was never going to make contact with anyone other than me. He'd be here waiting every summer for me, alone with no one else to keep him company. I don't want that for him.

"How do I look, Trowa?" I turned my head, he wasn't wearing anything fancy just a pair of jeans and a black fitting t-shirt. "Trowa?"

I got up and wrapped my arms around him. "You look absolutely breathtaking, Duo." and he did.

XXX

**M**uch later that evening I'd gone into the store and bought some food for me and Duo to eat for dinner. It wasn't much, some bread, cheese, thinly sliced ham, juice, and a small bag of fruit. After I'd met back up with him we walked together in silence just holding hands as we headed for the beach area to eat. We'd started a small fire beside the huge rock and I made us some simple sandwiches. I'd never been on a date, but I'm sure this constituted as one. We sat there for hours listening to the ocean.

**J**ust as I was about to get more wood for the fire Duo stopped me and threw sand on top of the fire. He peered around the rock and stood there for a few minutes and watched. I couldn't hear a thing, but every time I tried to peer over Duo's shoulder he'd gently nudge me back and tell me to shush. Suddenly I heard someone laugh and Duo quickly grabbed my hand and we took off in a sprint.

**W**e ended up in front of the two story house I'd been throwing rocks at not too long ago with Heero. It all seemed like such a wonderful dream. Duo held on to my slim warm palm and pushed the door open. I could see moonlight pouring through every available surface it could. He smiled, Duo was glancing back at me and pulled us up the stairway. The floor boards creaked with every heavy foot step we took. I felt excited and nervous at the same time and had no idea why. But then again I always felt this way around Duo.

**W**e finally made it to one of the rooms and just laid down on a huge mound of blankets that apparently Duo knew would be there. For a while I lay with my head on his lap as he just ran his fingers through my bangs. It sort of just came to me one day that Duo liked playing with them.

"Duo." my voice came out in a whispered tone.

"Hm-mm?" he smiled down at me.

**W**ithout really thinking about it my hands slid up to cup his face in my hands. Gently I lead his face down to mine. His lips were soft against mine. He moved and was on his side. I slid my arms around him. I think the only thing I find strange about this is that he's not the least bit perturbed by what we're doing. I can feel his lips move down to my neck and know that even though it's cold outside I'll never be cold with him setting me on fire this way.

"Hey Duo?" I gasped out.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Do you even understand what we're doing?"

"Yeah, I've watched." I can't help but laugh at the thought of him spying on random couples. "Whatso funny?" he looks at me with a confused expression.

"You're so adorable." I smile up at him and bring his lips to meet mine again.

**E**ventually I find myself on top and slowly placing kisses every where skin is reveled. Duo's sliding his hands up my shirt and pulls it off me. I can't help but admit I love this side of him. I want to unlock the mystery that is Duo. I need to. I pull down the zipper on the jacket and slide both the jacket and the shirt off his slim body. He looks so vulnerable, but also, I can see a look in his eyes. Like he's been waiting so long for someone to fill a void in him that he hadn't realized was there. I want to be there for him. Need to. Small puffs of white breath causing our bodies to shiver in the cold summer night air light shining, dust sparking like glitter caught in a constant drifting wind, hands on skin, trembling, heat…..everywhere.

**M**orning found us. I'm not sure if everyone feels this way after making love for the first time, but somehow I feel different. Even though I know absolutely nothing has changed, expect for the fact that I'm no longer a virgin. Last night had been beyond anything I could have ever imagined; Duo beneath me, clutching to my shoulders. I've got scratch marks to prove it. I never thought it would ever have been good, but then again, I'm sure it's because of the way I feel for Duo that made it what it was.

XXX

**L**ater that afternoon Duo was laying on top of me, of course that morning we took a dive in the lake to clean off. We talked about the things I'd done, seen, been, and then I asked about him.

"This use to be my room." he got up and pulled me along with him out the room and into another. "This is my sisters' room. I drew that mouse 'cause she doesn't like 'em." he pulled me into another room, a smile on his face. "This is my two brothers' room and that room is my mom's and dad's room. We're not allowed to go in there."

"Duo, nobody's here but you….." I watched his face as he turned to face me.

"No, mom, dad, my brothers, and sisters are just never around when you are. I talk to them all the time." every part of me felt numb. Part of me wanted to run, the other felt ashamed. I walked over to Duo and wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you Duo, I want you to know that."

"You do?" he turned a bit and I could see he was smiling.

"I always will." I turned him completely around to face me. Wrapping my arms around his slight frame I kissed him. We walked downstairs together and I noticed a car driving up to the house.

"It's your cousin." he said leaning against me as we passed a window.

"I'd better go before they see you." Duo pulled me against him one last time and kissed me. When we parted lips I clutched to him desperately for a second and whispered into his ear. "I'm so sorry Duo."

XXX

**I** watched the clock that hung over the couch. Time seemed to come to a standstill as I recalled all the time I'd spent with Duo. His smile was etched into my memory, his taste lingered at the back of my pallet, and his scent seemed to be engraved on to my skin. It was like the very essence of his being was tattooed upon my soul. And in a sense wouldn't that mean part of him would always remain free?

"He needs help and I know I can't do that for him." I tried to keep my gaze from Heero, knowing he'd be giving me a look.

"So you're just going to sell him out?" asked Heero.

"I'm not selling him out! He needs help damnit!" I slammed my hands on the coffee table in front of me.

"Heero go to your room! Trowa settle down!" yelled my uncle.

"Trowa sweetie you do realize what you're telling us to do right?" my aunt gently placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Yes." my voice came out barely above a whisper.

"I'll go make a phone call then." my uncle left the room.

"You understand he's probably not going to admit himself willing." nobody in their right mind would, but, was Duo?

"I don't want to hurt him….."

"I know sweetie, I know."

**T**his was by far the worst thing I ever had to do in my life. We decided that I should talk to Duo before we had Them come in and take him away. I'm still not exactly sure who my aunt and uncle called, but they'd said that they were going to help Duo. He deserves to have a normal life, and to have a normal life he needs people to teach him, tell him what happened to him, his family. Not live like a delusional child for the rest of his life.

**T**hey followed us in a black car as my aunt and uncle drove me over to the Cliffside where the Well was. I felt nervous all over and couldn't stop shifting in the back seat. The closer we got the more my stomach churned, I felt like running into the bathroom for several hours. When the car stopped I dropped my face in my hands and wished to God I'd not said anything. My chance at happiness and I ruin it. I started this and I didn't want to finish it, but even if I wanted to turn back now and change my mind there was no way these people would leave Duo here.

**L**ifting my face out of my hands I inhaled and held my breath for a few seconds or close to a minute. I was kind of hoping I'd pass out, but it didn't work, finally I just opened the door and got out. I could hear the sound of the dirt, dry grass, and gravel crunching beneath my feet so loud I thought my ears would bleed. I walked up to the Well and looked down it, the stone felt both cold and hot, like fire on ice. I took this as a bad sign personally. I called out Duo's name, but got no answer I assume he'd be out. But when I turned around and leaned against the Well I saw a shadow up in one of the top windows of the abandoned hotel.

**M**aking a hand gesture to my aunt and uncle I walked over to the hotel and inside. I'd never felt so terrified in my life, Duo was up there, doing what I had no idea. It was so quite in here it made my ears hurt to the point I thought I'd gone deaf. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my heart beating in my chest, which really was more like a pounding in my head. I made it to the top floor and walked into the room with the only door that was open.

**H**e was sitting at the window seat looking out at the ocean. If I could draw, or had a camera I would have saved that moment, and tucked it away somewhere no one else but me would know where to find it. Duo was leaned up against the wall and window, one hand poised in the act of tapping the slightly dirty glass. He turned his head the second I stepped into the room. He jumped up and literally threw himself at me; we landed on the old dusty floor.

"Trowa!" he had his lanky arms wrapped around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. He shifted a little and lifted his head and looked me in the eyes then tilted his head slowly, smiled, and kissed me. It was still a bit awkward in some ways, but I loved it. I could feel his tongue brush against mine and it took everything in my body to not react.

"Duo, I need to, talk to you, about something." I managed to get out between gaps of kissing.

"What's wrong?" he sat up and crossed his legs looking at me curiously. His head turned slightly like a kitten seeing something weird for the first time.

I sat up, Duo sitting on my legs still, leaned my head against his with my eyes closed, and placed my hands on his shoulders. "There are some people out side I want you to meet. Good people."

"Good people." he echoed slowly.

"Yeah, I mean, at least that's what my aunt and uncle say. They want to help, Duo, make sure everything will be ok for you, take you somewhere and let you know things, they-" I started to tremble.

I tried so hard not to cry, but I just couldn't hold it back. He lifted my teared face and looked me straight in the eyes. "Do you want me to go with them Trowa?"

"I….I….Duo." I wrapped my arms around him and cried into the crook of his neck.

**D**uo stood up and slowly we walked out of the hotel with his arm around me. My aunt and uncle were sitting on the hood of their car; they turned their heads to us once they noticed us. My aunt had a shocked expression on her face and my uncle just had a sad smirk. This was it, that moment I'd been dreading, but Duo just calmly smiled at me.

"Trowa sweetie you need to let go of him now." said my aunt standing next to me.

"I can't." I was still crying into his shoulder.

"Trowa, say goodbye he has to go with them." said my uncle next to my aunt.

"Trowa it's ok, you said it was to help me. I don't know what for, but if you think it's good for me…….I can't say no." I suddenly looked up into his face; he had a serious but caring look about his features. His voice was much more somber then I ever remembered it being before.

"I did this, I'm sorry. I made this happen. If I could make it all go away I would Duo. I don't want you to go away, don't go away……please don't hate me, I couldn't take it if you did." I was crying even harder now, still clutching to Duo.

"Trowa, you've made me the happiest person in the world." he had his arms around me, enveloping me in his slim body.

"How?" I gasped out. They had dragged us over to the black car.

"You're the first person to cry for me." I could feel my heart skip a beat. I'd let go of him from the shock of his comment and they were orchestrating him into the car.

**A**nd in that moment I saw all our time spent together being sucked away. Like a vortex had manifested itself out of nowhere and decided that everything that had meant something no longer mattered. Somehow, I wanted all of this to become the only moments I ever felt horrified about. If one day someone was to hold a gun to my head, it wouldn't matter, nothing could scare me more then the loss of Duo's presence. Without much thought, I leapt forward into the passenger side seat and desperately kissed Duo one last time as gently and passionately as I could possibly muster from the bottom of my soul.

XXX

**W**hen the morning wore into afternoon and Heero and I were in the bedroom, he sat on my bed and asked me about Duo. Apparently Heero and his friends had followed us over to the hotel; me and Duo were nothing but an odd spectacle to them, some sort of entertainment because they had nothing else better to gawk at.

"You didn't listen to me before, but suddenly you want to know about him? Fuck You!" I tried kicking him off my bed.

"Will you fucking cut that out? What I want to know is……….last night- I'd been out with my friends and saw you go into that two-story abandoned house with someone. Was that him?"

"Yeah."

"Did you guys-?"

"……..yeah we did."

"Don't you feel guilty?"

"It isn't fair, I don't understand why this all had to happen. Things could have gone so greatly if I just hadn't said anything, it's just not fair Heero, it's not fair…." he ended up leaving me alone again and I continued sitting there by myself in the dark confinements of my room hating myself for being so stupid. I thought I'd be helping Duo by telling someone about him. But I all did was have him taken away.

**I **honestly don't know what to do with myself, I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and then, I couldn't help it. I felt uncomfortable with myself and just buried my face in my pillow and cried. I didn't care how pathetic I sounded any more, what I did was unforgivable. I wish I could take it back now. When I woke up after crying myself to sleep I decided I'd pack. I just want to go home now. I want nothing to do with this place anymore, it only hurts. I hurt the person I fell in love with and now I deserve to die.

**I** reached underneath the bed to grab my suit case when my hand hit something. It was that notebook I'd found in the old hotel by the ocean cliffside. Sitting cross legged I shifted through the torn scattered pieces. The entire thing was almost completely blank except for one page in the back that read:

_Heaven fell on herself tonight  
As the devil met me in the wishing well  
And in that moment I found myself knowing  
That in the end it's just about you and me  
Nothing smaller or larger  
Though dragons are good for the soul  
Nothing can be better than baring yourself for another...  
Open for scrutiny, ridicule, and indulgence  
Therein lies the balls, and the mind, and the heart...  
As fear is truly the Mindkiller...  
When nothing is left...  
Everything is gained...  
You see I wish I was a poet  
But I know as we go round and round  
**Though endings are never ever happy  
It's the happy moments along the way  
That in the end  
Make it...ok...**_

XXX

**L**ater that day I walked out to the cliff side where the abandoned hotel sat and just stood staring out at the ocean. By sunset Heero found me still standing there, just staring. This was the first time I'd ever watched a sunset, it was the second most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in the world.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and stared out at the sunset as well. "It's a long way out, Trowa, and not everyone's going to find their way back."

**I **stared out into the ocean and slowly closed my eyes. All I could see was Duo smiling with that sad innocent smile of his and knew. Nothing was ever going to be okay for him or me again. Yeah, it was a long way out.

XXX

A/N: I'm still debating whether or not to add that last piece I was thinking about doing. You know how when you usually get back to school and most English teachers ask you to write about your summer vacation? Well I had an Idea of what Trowa would write for his class, I just don't know if I should run with it or not.

Anywho I enjoyed writing this, in fact it was my most favorite fic I've ever written for.

Also, the part that is in italic's is also a part from a song on Five For Fighting called Nobody.


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